Below is the proposal piece of the Fierce Medicine book proposal presented to Literary Agents for representation. The full package also included a chapter excerpt, and a promotional DVD comprised of two videos: a montage of my documentary images, and a mini-documentary built from found media (including other documentary images).
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Fierce Medicine
How You Can Heal Yourself, Build Strength, and Welcome Your Spirit Home with Forrest Yoga
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A Book Proposal by Ana Forrest, Founder of Forrest Yoga
as told to Eric Perret
Foreword by Timothy McCall, MD
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OVERVIEW
Something was seriously wrong. She’d started coming to my Tuesday Yoga classes a few months before – middle-aged woman, worked an office job -- complaining of pain in her left leg, near the hip. The doctors didn’t know what it was; the best guess was sciatica.
But her leg was dying. It was withering like a leaf – nothing dramatic in a day, but as the weeks passed, it was slowly, slowly, wasting away. How long could this go on, before she lost her leg?
At this point I’d been teaching Yoga and working with injury – in horses, and in people -- for about thirty years. I’m not a doctor, but I’ve made a life of studying pain, and healing. To me, sciatica seemed a reasonable diagnosis; the location was right. But sciatic pain is usually sharp, and energetically bright. Her pain was dull, and energetically, her hip was dull; as the leg got thinner, it was getting darker. She was getting scared. Honestly, I was getting weirded out too.
She was getting something from the Yoga practice, enough to keep coming back. She wanted more – of what, she wasn’t sure – and I welcomed the chance to help solve the mystery. So I got to know her a little better.
One day the class was in pigeon – a pose that helps open the hip and lower back – and I placed my hand on her hip as I often did, encouraging her to breathe in a way that sent some breath (and hence some energy) into that area. She wasn’t getting it, so I’d move on to other students, but I kept coming back to her, again, and again, placing my hand, guiding her attention there. Then something started happening. She started trembling slightly, then shaking, and finally, burst into tears. This isn’t uncommon; a release of deeply held tensions often brings an emotional release as well. Great sobs were racking her body as some internal dam burst.
“I feel…I feel like I don’t have a leg to stand on,” she gasped.
Bang! That’s it. I got it. From our conversations, I realized that was how she lived her life! Her relationships, her career – she didn’t know how to stand up for herself. Work for her was particularly hard; she was doing her job, plus her boss’ job, but she wasn’t getting any compensation or credit for it. She was being used every day – and was literally withering away because of it.
Now we had something to dig in to. Her work: stand up for yourself. My work: help her learn this life lesson, and find a way to ground it physically in her body. So we worked on Yoga postures that would get her rooted, building strength and awareness in her feet, legs, and hips. We worked on using this energy to set boundaries in her life. And she started to change.
The leg came back as slowly as it had withered. Emotionally, the pendulum swung back pretty far at first – she turned into a Turbo Bitch, holding her newfound boundaries like a vicious dog. But then, as she became more skillful in communicating, she softened. Within the year, she got a raise, then a promotion; her boss was fired for his abuses. She’d learned to stand on her own two feet.
This is a dramatic transformation, and though the details change, I’ve seen such personal revolutions happen time and again. This is the work I do: helping people recognize those moments when the body speaks from a deeply profound level, then guiding them in getting the work done. Growing, healing.
All growth starts in quantum leaps, and these are precious, often terrifying moments. When that leap presents itself, can you recognize it? Are you willing to take it? This woman took it, and the sweetness of that kind of transformation is what continues to fuel me. It’s why I’m writing this book.
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This book is for people who are hurting, and looking for a way out of pain. Usually, the way out means going numb through TV, or food, or alcohol, or work; but there is another way.
There’s a way to bring aliveness into every cell of the body, and reignite a passion for living. There’s a way to deal effectively with fear and struggle; a way to transform a life, to find a sense of freedom, a connection to spirit, and the courage to walk as that spirit dictates. All it takes is a willingness to learn how, and the right tools to do the work.
What do I mean by ‘tools’? This book lays out a system of practices, founded in Yoga and Native American medicine, that I’ve developed and refined over 35 years, and countless miles on the road. These practices specifically address the challenges and stresses -- both physical and emotional – that all people face. In Native American circles, addressing these challenges is called ‘mending the Hoop of the People ’. This is my life’s calling.
There’s no shortage of hurting people: 75 million Americans endure chronic back pain. 183 million abuse food, cigarettes, alcohol, or some other substance. 2.5 million are victim to physical or sexual abuse.
To move through these things, I teach my own unique system of Yoga – but more importantly, I teach how to use the discerning awareness that comes with Yoga in a way that brings healing to the body and the spirit, and ultimately helps a person take control and power over their own life.
These are not quick-fix platitudes and pretty postures (because, as one of the elders on the reservation used to say: “If it don’t grow corn, it ain’t worth shit”). No -- I developed these practices out of my own desperate, mortal need to heal – from physical and sexual abuse, from alcohol and substance abuse, from injury, physical disability, bulimia, epilepsy…the list goes on. At points I felt so broken, infected, and poisonous, that I thought suicide the only relief. I tried twice – sincere efforts, not cries for help – only to find life had other plans for me.
And those plans were this: to help heal others, even as I sought out ways to heal myself. My seeking brought me from lonely horse ranches in the desert, to the great masters of India, to caves in the Himalayas, to Native American medicine circles. To see whether the wild promises held true, I sought out and mastered every advanced, freaky, esoteric practice the ancient sutras and the healing arts had to offer. I had no loyalty to concepts I didn’t have an application for: I eat sacred cows. So from all these things, I discarded what didn’t work, and created this practice from what did.
Now, just as I’ve offered my teaching to hundreds of thousands of people over the years, just as I’ve seen it heal and transform in astonishing and lasting ways -- so now I offer it up with this book.
(Note: for a deeper visual understanding of what I’m all about, please watch the short DVD enclosed with this manuscript.)
The book Powerful Medicine is divided into six parts; each deals with a milestone in the process of spiritual growth and healing. Each part is split into three chapters:
1. My personal experiences -- in all their Technicolor drama -- which are the basis for what I teach.
2. The practical wisdom and guidance that springs from these experiences, refined by working with a huge variety of students over the years. These sections will include relevant anecdotes about the struggles and transformations I’ve seen in these students – both as illustration, and inspiration. No matter how alone we might feel in an issue we’re dealing with, it’s been my experience that there are common themes, and in reading about others, we can not only learn how to help ourselves, but feel less isolated in our own process.
3. Succinct, step-by-step exercises, both physical and spiritual, to help an individual practice these teachings on a daily basis
Here’s a brief overview:
Part 1: Working with Fear
My Story: Dancing with the Monsters. Detail about the gnarly bestiary of abuses, challenges, and fears that were visited on me from a very early age, and what I learned about turning fear from predator to prey – and ultimately, ally.
The Guidance: Choosing the Brave-hearted Path. How we all live with fear, how it can be a useful thing, how it affects the body chemically, and how we can clear it from the body and move towards a new way of viewing what used to terrify us.
Exercises for Walking Through the Spook Zone: Practicing discernment and correct action in the face of Fear. Exploring what it is that most scares you, and why. You might be surprised. Physical Yoga postures that help access, process, and release fear.
Part 2: Freedom from Pain
My Story: The Sacrificial Whore. A raw accounting of the different varieties of pain I’ve known – physical, spiritual, emotional – culminating in the first of my suicide attempts. As with the fear section, the intention here is to provide inspiration to others who feel there’s no way out of whatever is plaguing them. There is.
The Guidance: On the Other Side of Pain. Introducing the idea of listening to pain and exploring what it’s trying to tell you rather than try to blast through it or numb out to it. What goes on in the body when there’s an injury; practical ways to overcome back pain; ways to work with emotional pain like depression and grief.
Exercises for Walking Free of Pain: Staying alert to what exacerbates pains or injuries, both physical and emotional. Problem-solving how to change these patterns. Yoga poses to both free pain, and work pain free (there’s a difference).
Part 3: Opening Your Heart
My Story: How I Came to Love Humans. My avoidance of people, my solitary work with horses in the desert, where I nearly forgot human speech; my final suicide attempt that turned from a leap off a cliff into a leap towards life and healing – for myself, and for other people.
The Guidance: Building the Warrior’s Heart. A new concept of strength -- being willing to really feel what’s going on in your life without being overwhelmed; a way of living that involves responding intelligently, effectively, and with integrity to any given situation.
Exercises to Open the Heart: Practice for Speaking Truth – not as a weapon, but with grace. Guided meditation: Chakra Process for Life Decisions. Yoga poses to strengthen and open the heart.
Part 4: The Fiercest Medicine
Because of the abuse my body had been through, I know I could go at any minute. Hence: the Death Meditation: an intense process in which I guide you through your last day on earth. How does this effect your priorities today? Because all bullshit pales in comparison with a true sense of our own mortality.
Part 5: Embodying Spirit
My Story: The Hawk and the Mouse. How I came to live on a reservation, learn Native American medicine ceremony, and be named a Pipe Carrier. How I learned to look at a person’s body in a way that told me where there was injury, or an emotional issue. I talk about finding my Spirit – my true, authentic self that had been smothered under all those layers of shame, guilt, fear, and pain – and how I could connect to it.
The Guidance: Plugging into your Personal Power. How to move towards living authentically day to day, moment to moment. A discussion of connecting to your own Spirit; why it’s so important, how you can learn to feel it in your body, what it means to truly connect to it; if it’s gone, how to bring it back.
Exercises to Romance the Soul: Taking a Spirit Pledge; also, the Future Self Meditation, where you access your older, wiser self. Yoga poses to practice embodying Spirit.
Part 6: Celebrating Your Life
My Story: Collecting Treasures. How I’ve learned to reframe my pain and tragedies so that they’re transformative, rather than scarring or crippling. To me, celebrating life involves looking at it in its totality; the good stuff is easy. But how do you celebrate the hard stuff? When you’re feeling weak, or injured or wobbly, how do you celebrate then?
The Guidance: Continuing the Healing Process. How to turn your Karma to Dharma (or: ‘what you do with what’s been done to you’); some of the (often alarming) signs that you are healing, and the formula to continue your healing.
Exercises for Walking the Path of Your Spirit: Guided writing process for how the walk the path of your Spirit, given what you’ve learned throughout the book, particularly from the Death Meditation. Conclude with a bulleted list of spiritual exercises: Daily Diet for the Evolving Soul. Yoga poses to invigorate, and celebrate life.
A complete chapter-by-chapter synopsis is attached, giving a more detailed overview of the manuscript.
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About the Authors
Ana Forrest, founder Forrest Yoga, is based in Orcas Island, Washington. A former horse-whisperer, and a healer for nearly four decades, Ana is known for her intense teaching style grounded in overcoming personal adversity, and Native American medicine ceremony. She spends most of her days on the road teaching sold-out workshops and teacher-trainings at yoga studios, retreats, and conferences around the world. A true example of ‘walking the walk’, her keynote yoga demonstrations, performed before standing-room-only crowds at yoga conferences, are an inspiration to others struggling to overcome their own obstacles.
Eric Perret is a former editor at Esquire Magazine, and Certified Yoga Instructor who has trained extensively with Ana Forrest. An honors graduate in writing from the University of Washington, his published works includes pieces in Esquire, Interview, Details, and SPIN. Eric now lives in Seattle.
Dr. Timothy McCall is a board-certified specialist in internal medicine, an award-winning writer, and the Medical Editor of Yoga Journal. He is the author of two books, Examining Your Doctor: A Patient's Guide to Avoiding Harmful Medical Care and the forthcoming Yoga as Medicine, to be published in mid 2007 by Bantam Dell. Dr. McCall’s articles have appeared in dozens of publications, including the New England Journal of Medicine, and The Los Angeles Times.
Manuscript delivery and length
The manuscript will be 60,000 words in length, and could be written in time for the holiday season -- perfect for the spike in Yoga and other personal development activities that traditionally begin in the New Year, and easily pegged to the San Francisco Yoga Journal Conference in January. Special features would include photos illustrating proper technique for Yoga poses described, as well as studio photos of me in advanced postures that would be striking chapter openers, as well as promotional shots (you can see some of them on the enclosed short DVD). I have, and own rights to all of these images.
Promotion:
By nature, my work is about reaching out to people; I’m on the road 300 days of the year, so have ample opportunity to promote this book. I have a publicist. While on the road, I’m a regular guest on local TV and radio affiliates, and frequently featured in local print media (some clips included on the DVD). I could easily add book stores and recovery group meetings to my outreach.
Besides touring nationally, this past year I taught in Scotland, England, Germany, Switzerland, and Hong Kong,
Targeting the Yoga community is a natural; I perform regular keynote Yoga demonstrations to standing-room-only crowds at Yoga Journal and other conferences throughout the year. I have a long-standing relationship with Yoga Journal, having contributed and appeared in their magazine, books, and calendars over the years. I can not only count on soliciting a review for the book in the magazine, but future byline bios and features will also include a book reference.
I have other products in the channel, and can cross-promote a book at the workshop and conference retail marketplaces where I do product signings and autographs. It’s also part of my contract with the Yoga studios I’m involved with that they sell my product.
I have commitments for book blurbs and testimonials from celebrities (including Marisa Tomei, Lisa Bonet, and Dana Delaney); other internationally-known Yoga teachers (including Baron Baptiste, John Friend, and Shiva Rea), medical establishment figures (Dr. Leroy Perry of the Sports Medicine Institute of L.A, aka ‘chiropractor to Liz Taylor’), as well as business and counter-culture leaders (including Jerry Moss, founder of A&M Records, and Joel Kramer).
Other promotional opportunities include my newsletter, web site, and the magazine advertising I buy in Yoga Journal and other publications.
Finally, I have a personal contact who can put the book directly in the hands of Oprah Senior Producer Jill Barancik.
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THE MARKET
I’m sure you’ve noticed: in the past years, Yoga has gone from crunchy, New Age fringe to smooth, marketable mainstream. In four years alone, Yoga participation increased more than 400%; Yoga Journal, its leading voice, estimates there are between 17 and 20 million students nationwide. 90% of them are women; from there the segment gets narrower: college-educated, median age 38, with a HHI of ~$75,000.
What’s interesting (and promising) about this surge in popularity is that there’s a diversity of reasons these women are coming to the mat. For some, there’s the initial draw of sweaty, sexy bodies -- the drive to sculpt a ‘Yoga butt’ like the celebrities. And you can get that from Yoga. But more and more are drawn to the deeper aspects of the practice, to the spiritual growth. They are hungry for more connection in their lives; they know Yoga can somehow ease the stress and pain and anxiety that are part of daily living, even if they don’t know how. Some come seeking healing; others don’t know why they come, only that they’re lacking something. They’re part of a savvy culture starved for authenticity, consuming the empty calories of reality shows in an attempt to connect with something direct, unmediated, unpackaged. Something real. My teachings are nothing if not about the relentless pursuit of connecting to what’s real.
People are so hungry for the kind of wisdom I have to offer. Yoga and Spirituality are just the tip of the iceberg for the Personal Development sector, an expanding, $11 billion market fueled by Oprah and Deepak Chopra and DVDs and Yoga ‘starter kits’ at Whole Foods checkout stands.
Based on the demographic and media kits of the more popular yoga, health, and wellness magazines, these women are:
• Subscribers to Oprah Magazine and Yoga Journal
• Purchasers of upwards of 28 books a year
• Interested in personal growth, health, wellness, balance
• Social influencers who are active in their communities
• Passionate about social and environmental issues
• Highly active consumers that buy from companies that share their values
The Competition
Since I’ve walked a uniquely difficult path, have explored, then discarded many orthodoxies, and teach from direct personal experience, there is no book that directly competes with Powerful Medicine. There are, obviously, other books that compete with parts of it.
The tenor of my recovery story has overtones from A Million Little Pieces (but true) and Dharma Punx; the idea of weaving personal and student anecdotes with my philosophy of Yoga and my experiences with students over the years can be found in Bringing Yoga to Life and other yoga memoirs; adding an element of exercises and participatory ceremony to each section was inspired by Buffalo Woman Comes Singing; having a progressive structure to addressing a spiritual practice can be found in any number of books, including The Four Agreements and The Book of Secrets.
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CHAPTER SYNOPSES
Preface: Hard Lessons, Simple Tools
I introduce myself here, and give some context for the journey you’re about to embark on. I’ll first establish myself as a long-time Yoga teacher, Horse Whisperer, Medicine Woman, and Healer by citing impressive credentials and statistics, then point out that I’ve always rejected the Guru trip, so I don’t offer myself up as one here. I’ll also establish myself as someone who can speak with some authority about pain, healing, and transformation. I’ll sketch my rocky path: alcohol by age three, cigarettes by six, disability, forced prostitution, physical abuse, drug addiction, epilepsy, migraines, divorce, bulimia, suicide attempts… My message here: I’ve lived in the gutter, I’ve found a way to use these experiences to create tools for life transformation, and I offer them to you in this book. These aren’t quick-fixes. They are direct physical, emotional, and spiritual exercises that anyone can engage in, so long as they’re willing to put in the work. They saved my life, and have worked and been refined through hundreds of thousands of students over the decades.
I’ll outline the structure of the book: each part will include a piece of my story, what I’ve learned from that, how I’ve used my lessons to help others through difficult places, and how you can apply them right now.
I’ll explain the role of courage in all this. Finally, I’ll explain the concept of using these practices with an attitude of Ceremony to tap into the deeper aspects of yourself, to unravel the fears and pains that keep you from living an authentic life.
Part 1: Working with Fear
Dancing with the Monsters
My Story: greater detail about being born sickly, with twisted limbs, about the gnarly bestiary of (all-too-real) fears that were visited on me from a very early age, and how I coped by numbing out as quickly and as often as I could. How horses gave me something to hold on to. I then describe how I learned to do a switch – instead of running from the fear, turn around and go after it, make it my ally. To break its power, I started deliberately doing things that terrified me. I learned to hunt and stalk fear, to recognize the telltales of when I was getting close to something really horrifying; I learned meditating and doing all kinds of cool shit doesn’t make fear go away; but I also learned how to most effectively work with it.
Choosing the Brave-hearted Path
In this section, I explain how Fear is not a bad thing – it has a primal purpose – but it becomes a bad thing when we get paralyzed by it. I describe how we can learn to avoid making fear-based decisions. I outline the concept of fear living in our cell tissue; how the chemical processes triggered by fear can leave physical and emotional residues, how these residues can lead to chronic complaints and unexamined (even bizarre) behavior patterns. How we can release the terror that’s stuck there through Yoga, and other physical and spiritual work. I’ll describe a common reaction to fear – Self-mutilation – and how to overcome this tendency. Then I’ll explain the concept of the Brave-hearted Path: the courage to actually feel what’s going on in a moment of fear, and respond appropriately. This introduces a concept that will run throughout the book: a new definition of strength and courage. Courage as I define it is not the numbed-out, flinty, Clint Eastwood-esque stoicism we’re accustomed to, but daring to feel, even when feelings are fierce, with discernment and intelligence. Finally, I’ll discuss the Four Steps to Changing your Relationship with Fear.
Exercises for Walking Through the Spook Zone
This is the directed exercise section, and will consist of one (or all) of these elements:
A spiritual focus:
• Sadhana (a spiritual assignment directed toward a particular goal)
• Writing/journaling process
• Ceremony or Meditation
A physical focus:
• A sequence of Yoga poses that access the parts of the body relevant to the previous chapters
Spiritual focus:
In this section, the Sadhana is a practical guide to working with fear – not abstractly, but in the moment. There’s a snide saying: ‘When in fear, when in doubt, run, scream, and shout’. Here I teach an alternative. The practice will focus on getting physically grounded, then correct mental assessment, followed by correct action.
The writing assignment is a self-exploration of fears that have come up – during the day, the week, your lifetime. Feel it. What part of the body does it effect? How? Cozy up to it, give it a voice: if it could talk, what would the Fear say? Rather than run, or try to control it, or be controlled or victimized by it, let it talk until it empties out. What have you learned?
Physical focus:
Yoga poses that help access and process, and release fear
Part 2: Freedom from Pain
The Sacrificial Whore
My Story: A raw accounting of the different species of pain I’ve become acquainted with over the years; how they shaped me, and how they helped me to understand the pain in others when I work with them. I don’t remember ever not being in pain, unless I was tanked up enough, or was in a situation where the adrenaline was so incredibly high I couldn’t feel it anymore. The (really) early seduction of alcohol, and (many) other substances; the vivid, almost entertaining tortures of the DTs. The early (and regular) beatings at the hands of my mother; the poisonous shame in recognizing that same rage in me when I’d lash out at the horses. My first suicide attempt. The cycle of eating-and-puking, eating-and-puking that would extend through the day, until I’d be exhausted enough to sleep. The back injury that left me temporarily paralyzed. How I found Yoga, and how it influenced me, but wasn’t a silver bullet. I couldn’t know it then, but I was being drawn on through all this to where I am now: helping others walk free of their pain.
As with the fear section, the intention here is to provide inspiration to others who feel there’s no way out of whatever is plaguing them. There is.
On the Other Side of Pain
Zooming back out to what wisdom I’ve gained from my experiences, I discuss the difference between “good” pain and “bad” pain, how, like Fear, Pain is a red flag that means ‘proceed with caution’ -- pay attention, get interested– but it doesn’t mean go numb and stupid. It can be a like a dark prison cell: you can put your head down and try to blast through the wall (the athlete’s approach), you can back away from the wall and stay imprisoned (as do many) or you can reach out and really explore the wall until you find the door, open it, and step free.
I’ll describe the three different types of pain, how to address each, and the difference between working to free pain, versus working pain-free. Based on my own injury and healing, I’ll outline the 6 Steps to Freedom from Back Pain, the phenomenon of splinting, as well as healing practices for chronic conditions such as Fibromyalgia. The discussion of emotional pain will include grieving, victims of abuse, eating disorders, and depression; on the spiritual level, I’ll explore the common condition of spiritual malaise or bereftness, as well as taking responsibility for, and participating in your own healing.
Exercises for Walking Free of Pain
Spiritual focus:
For the coming week, stay alert to all the moves you do that exacerbate your pains or injuries. Make a list of them. Start getting into a problem-solving frame of mind; what can you do to change these patterns? If the answer is ‘nothing’, you’re not being creative enough. Similarly, keep close attention to what exacerbates your emotional sore points. How does your body respond to it? How can you change it?
Physical focus:
Poses to practice working to free pain and working pain-free
Part 3: Opening Your Heart
How I Came to Love Humans
My Story: In this section I get into how I avoided people as a kid (because when I was around people, horrible things happened), then came to see Healing as my life’s calling – first through the horses, then miraculously, through other people, and finally, myself. I describe my time alone in the desert with the horses, where I nearly forgot human language; my final suicide attempt that turned from a leap off a cliff into a leap towards life. I also describe my deep Yoga phase – traveling to India, working with some of the great masters – my search for what was genuine in all the esoterica of the Yoga world, and my disillusionment with how very famous, supposedly enlightened people behaved.
Building the Warrior’s Heart
Here I introduce the concept of the Warrior’s Heart – expanding on the earlier notion that to truly live is allow yourself to feel things authentically; and that includes consciously dealing with issues rather than vacating – either through food, or drugs, or TV, or any of the other escape hatches around us. I describe the difference between an open heart, which can feel, and process, and stay steady, and an open-window heart, into which all kinds of crap can fly in and get stuck. I explain what to expect as you build your heart strength, and how to free your heart from past pains and grievances -- then keep it open despite the storms of a tumultuous world.
I talk about how a crucial part of the healing process is consciousness, or being able to admit, to really see what the injury or issue is that needs to be addressed. I link this to my experiences with Truth-Speaking, which is how I define true compassion. How can learn to speak your Truth without violence, and live in a compassionate (yet empowered) way?
Finally, I discuss my experiences with dying people, in helping them to die truthfully and with pride, and how that has brought home to me the importance of living on purpose, right now.
Exercises to Open the Heart
Spiritual focus:
This week, for one hour each day, practice speaking Truth to people. Do it from your heart, and with grace, not as a weapon. Include gracefully speaking Truth to yourself as well. Each week, you’ll increase the amount of time you do this – one hour a day, three hours a day, a full day, and so on. As you progress, do your best to speak truthfully about things that scare you.
Chakra Process for Life Decisions ceremony. A step-by-step, guided meditation for tapping into the wisdom of the power centers of the body to counsel your heart in difficult decisions. We can either point people to my web site, where they can download the meditation and listen to me guide them as I normally would, or, it can be a journaling process.
Physical focus:
Poses to practice strengthening and opening the heart.
Part 4: The Fiercest Medicine
This comes at approximately the middle of the book, and as I do at this point in extended trainings, I’ll introduce the Death Meditation. This is an intense process in which I guide you through your last day on earth, counting down the hours, the minutes, the seconds. Far beyond some morbid exercise, this is a very keen way of cutting through the mental chatter we all have in our heads – I can’t reach for what I want because or this, or that, or whatever – and focusing with diamond clarity on what matters. Because all bullshit pales in comparison with an impending death.
The purpose of this meditation, and its placement here, is not only to bring clarity to life priorities – what are you honestly ready to release and let go of in your life -- but to galvanize you for the work that comes in the following sections.
Part 5: Embodying Spirit
The Hawk and the Mouse
My Story: This is where I describe what it has meant to me to live with a Warrior’s Heart; how I came to live on a reservation, learn Native American medicine ceremony, and be named a Pipe Carrier. How I learned to ‘see energy’ – not some woo-woo aura stuff, but how to look at a person’s body in a way that told me where there was subtle holding or blockage, either from an old injury, or emotional issue. I talk about finding my Spirit – my true, authentic self that had been smothered under all those layers of shame, guilt, fear, and pain. About how, after I thought I’d cleared all the detritus from my life, a catastrophic injury, a dying marriage, and a crippling law suit set me back yet again.
I get into how connecting to Spirit -- responding to adversity not from fear, but from an honest, intelligent place -- helped me through. I could look at adversity as a hawk going after my pet mouse, or I could look at it as a hawk going after its food -- which is just the nature of things – then concentrate on how I could most effectively deal with the situation.
Plugging in to Your Personal Power
This section deals with getting clear on why it is you’ve lived the way you have to this point, and moving towards a more authentic way of living day to day, moment to moment. I start by focusing on ethics – the values, both conscious and unconscious, that shape our behaviors. What are the different types of ethics we all carry? Do you entirely realize what they are, and where they came from? Do you know whether they’re still working for you? And most importantly, are you willing to change the ones that are aren’t?
Once I’ve described a way to consciously decided how you want to live, I talk about how you can connect to your own Spirit. Why is Spirit so important? How can you learn to feel it in your body? (Not in some hokey, abstract way, but really, truly feel it). What does it mean to connect to it? If you feel it has left you because of trauma, know that it is still close by, but needs to be enticed back in. How do you bring it back?
Exercises to Romance the Soul
Spiritual focus:
Take a Spirit Pledge. Now that you can access your Spirit, can you vow to do something that brightens and nourishes it each day, even if it’s for only five minutes? Pay attention to what feeds it; can you feed it more each day?
Future Self Meditation. A guided meditation/journaling process in which you project yourself forward into your older, wiser self; the version of yourself who knows the answers to the questions you have today, who has lived through the struggles in the present, and has gained wisdom and perspective from them. How is that person living? How are they different than you are today? Realize that person is in you right now.
Physical focus:
Poses to practice embodying Spirit.
Part 6: Celebrating Your Life
Collecting Treasures
My Story: How I’ve come to acknowledge the power and gift of having a life in the first place, and how I’ve learned to reframe my pain and tragedies so that they’re transformative, rather than scarring or crippling. I talk about how even now I continue to discover and work with wounds and injuries in myself, and see these as puzzles to be solved. When I solve a puzzle, I gain wisdom; wisdom is a treasure to me, which I can then pass on to others, or use in solving the next puzzle, and so on. And so, as I claim more and more, my life gets richer. To me, celebrating life involves looking at it in its totality; the good stuff is easy. But how do you celebrate the hard stuff? When you’re feeling weak, or injured or wobbly, how do you celebrate then? There’s a way to do this. Pain is a part of life, and you have no choice as to whether you’ll experience it. Where you do have a choice is whether that experience will make you suffer, or whether you can turn the shit into fertilizer and make beautiful things grow from it.
Continuing the Healing Process
Once you’ve learned to work with fear, and pain, once you’ve figured out how to connect to your authentic self – how do you continue the process of healing? I call this ‘walking the path of your Spirit’. Here I discuss reclaiming your innocence; not the innocence of a child, but innocence with wisdom – a way of living that emphasizes strength without hardness, and practicing discernment while banishing cynicism and boredom. I talk about turning your Karma to Dharma (or: ‘what you do with what’s been done to you.’); some of the (often alarming) signs that you are healing, and the formula to continue your healing. Finally, I offer congratulations and encouragement to all who have allowed me to guide them on this path.
Exercises for Walking the Path of Your Spirit
Spiritual focus:
Walking the Path of your Spirit (writing process). Refer to the Death Meditation for your life priorities now. What would your life look like if you walked the path of your Spirit? How would it be different from today? What do you need to do now to walk the path your Spirit yearns for? By doing these processes you’re designing the life you deeply desire
Daily Diet for the Evolving Soul. A bulleted list of Sadhanas to follow each day, because getting clear and strong is just the beginning. The purpose of these reminders is to make sure you finish the book ready to tend and groom who you are as a human being – physically, emotionally, intellectually, nutritionally, and so on. How often should you tend to these things? How often do you brush your teeth?
Physical focus:
Poses to invigorate, and celebrate life.
Part 7: Resources
An appendix that serves two purposes:
1. Refer readers to more information about practicing with me directly – through workshops, conferences, DVDs, etc.
2. Suggest further reading on the topics of
o Anatomy
o Fear
o Healing
o Nutrition
o Native Medicine
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